It made me question myself as to my own views in regards to romantic relationships and also made me reflect at the evolution of my opinion throughout the years. And I have to say that, for me, a lot has changed.
I grew up with the model of couples who get married and stick together all their lives. My parents met during their teenage years and have been married for 20 something years now. My grandparents on both sides stayed together as well. And I remember of dreaming. at a young age, about the day I was going to get married. I thought of it as the most beautiful day that would happen in my life. That was, until, about four years ago.
You see, a lot has changed for me in the past four years. The main change, was my sudden spiritual awakening in the beginning of 2013, and the whole process that it initiated. A process of introspection, of soul-searching. A few heartbreaks and deceptions as well, here I am at 23 years old, single and asking myself what do I really want out of a romantic relationship. Is it even what I want right now?
And the answer to this is yes, I want a romantic relationship in my life. Whether it happens now or in five years. But the main thing that has changed for me, is that I have learned to become independant and I no longer feel the need to possess anyone. What I mean by that is that I want connection, but I don't want attachment.
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| Image from: www.pixabay.com (Gerd Altmann, username: geralt) |
I crave a special love that feels safe, that is delightful, that helps me grow, that is reassuring, that is passionate, that is understanding, that adds to my life in a positive way, but I don't want to have to renounce to my freedom, and I would personally find absurd to impose someone to renounce to theirs.
I have identified that two of my biggest needs in life are freedom and love. And I tell myself, why the heck could they not co-exist?
And my conclusion is that there can't possibly be a mould that fits everyone. We need to try and experience in order to find what really suits our soul.
So if you are happy in a monogamous relationship and it makes you grow, great! The same goes if you're single and it satisfies you, nothing wrong with that! And if you want to experience an open or a polyamorous relationship, there shouldn't be anything or anyone stopping you, as long as all partners rejoice.
To me, real love is not about expectations, vows and promises, although they can be a path leading to growth. To me, unconditional love, is about letting it happen, letting it flow freely, knowing that no matter what tomorrow brings, once love exists between two beings, it lives forever. It may transform over time, but it is never lost.
(C) 2016 Vincent Alexandre
